Fairness in a "real" way.....

The definition of justice is the “fairness or reasonableness, especially in the way people are treated or decisions are made.” 

This time next week, I will be in day two of the Justice Conference in Philly.  The Centerpoint Outreach coordinator and I will be attending this amazing event.   For someone whose life work, talent and passion revolve around this idea, I am very excited about this opportunity.  I am going to absorb every message and gain as much knowledge as I can to bring back to my church family and community. 

Fairness means different things to different people.  We begin our young lives with a famous saying “that’s not fair!”  However do we ever think about what that actually means?  Many times that saying contributes to selfishness.  For example, if I don’t get my way with this situation, IT’S NOT FAIR. 

I have learned over the years that we take things for granted (I am learning this even more as I go through the Lent journey).  Some things really aren’t fair.  When something doesn’t go our way, when a child doesn’t get what he/she wants we overuse the word fair.  Really what is not fair in our world is when others go without clean drinking water, when children die of hunger, when people are discriminated against etc…… when we think of “fair” in this way it means something all-together different from our selfish meaning of fair.

When I attend the Justice Conference, I hope to leave completely exhausted and full of ideas to reach others who are not treated “fair.”  Fair in a “real” sense and not a selfish one.

We have a responsibility to help others who cannot help themselves.  We can make daily decisions that impact people’s lives.  One phone call, one personalized note, one hug.  These are things that can bring hope.

 Donating one year of clean water, sponsoring a child to go to school, feeding hungry children and/or volunteering  your time in local outreach efforts.  This my friends can change the world and provide fairness and justice to our world.  My challenge for you is to think about the things that you can do to bring true fairness to others.  How can you make a difference?  I challenge you to try!

 

 

Will your response be a bitter one or a better one?

Charles Swindoll stated that, “life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to what happens to us.” When I thought about this and meditated on this idea, I felt that it would be worthy of a blog post.  Things happen in our lives that are not always favorable.  We end up in situations that we didn’t think we would be in; then we have a choice to make.  Do we respond out of bitterness or do we respond and be better?

For someone who tries to keep a positive attitude a lot of the time, over the last 18 months I have had a difficult time in a situation in which my reaction was a bitter one.  This situation was very hurtful and it felt like a true loss in my life.  My knowledge was used and I was given responsibility that was going to lead in to bigger and better things.  Then decisions and favors were granted behind closed door conversations, resulting in a kick in the gut and tears in my eyes.  To a situation that I was so loyal, I was blindsided and betrayed. 

Fast forward to now and I can say that I have learned a lot and have gained a lot of insight.  I now have decided to be better instead of bitter and my response is just that.  I have also re-evaluated what is important in my life.  I have found a way to have balance and I believe that through tough times we find our strength and perseverance (even when it takes 18 months).

Think about that 90% and think about your response to others.  Zig Ziglar said that “some people find fault like there is a reward for it.”  Do you look for fault in life and in the 10%?  Is your responses kind?   Can you choose kindness over being right?  My challenge for you today is to think about the above questions and choose being kind over being right, be less interested in finding fault and think about how you can respond in kindness.  Instead of pointing out faults (bitter) look for the better.  In the end the freedom that our kind responses bring are always worth it.  Life is a journey and sometimes it takes us a while to learn these lessons.

 

Peace and Tolerance......

Today as I have enjoyed a day off work in memory of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  I am reminded of my own personal thoughts about peace and kindness in the world in which we live.  One of Dr. King’s famous quotes is:  “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

 Many times we spend more of our time fighting over opposing views than we do loving each other and practicing tolerance.  We need to embrace our similarities instead of fighting over our differences.  We need to have passion and celebrate what we are for instead of condemning others for what they believe.

How do we teach peace?  We teach peace by living our life with tolerance and understanding.  What would our world look like with less hate and more love?  I want to make love my life’s mission, would you join me?  My personalized license plate says “LUVWINS.”  I want to live in a world of love and peace where love wins!  We can make a difference with one gesture at a time. 

The truth is, we judge what we don’t understand.  My challenge to you today is to talk less and listen more, seek first to understand and then to be understood and show passion for your beliefs without extending hateful words to others.  In everything you do find a way to show tolerance and peace.

“In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends” Martin Luther King Jr.

The time is NOW.....

I often find myself putting off to tomorrow what I need to do today.  Today I make the commitment to start anew every day.  No more waiting until the beginning of the month, the beginning of a new year or when the time is most convenient for me.  The time to make change and start anew starts NOW.  Every day is a gift and we must treasure these moments without regret and without waiting for when the timing is better.  The time is now....

With that being said…. I want to share with you my thoughts on my last three day.  My last three days on the military diet.  This diet for me was more of a jump start in to better decisions and more accountability.  In three days I lost 8lbs.  I wanted to know how I would feel after this diet and if I would feel hungry.  Surprisingly the diet was successful. I told myself that I could do anything for three days.  The diet consists of a lot of protein and lots of fruits and vegetables.  I had lots of energy on day one and two.  Day three was a little more challenging (I had to eat a whole can of tuna and I couldn’t add mayo)!  The good news is I got to eat vanilla ice cream each night for dinner. 

Some things I learned in three days…

·         Eating healthier is a must.  The saying “we need to eat to live not live to eat” was the perfect mantra for these three days.  Healthier food gives us more energy.

·         Appreciation of the small things.  With this three day diet I looked forward to the ice cream at dinner.  Any other time I would have never looked forward to a half a couple of vanilla ice cream. 

·         Portion control.  Everything was measured these three days.  I didn’t realize how much a “cup” of something was.  I would guess before and would likely think that I had a cup of “potatoes” but it really was probably at least double that.

With this “jump start” and with lots of prayer, I plan to change my diet.  With that I mean I will be more conscience of portions, enjoy treats less often (you don’t enjoy them unless they are a special treat) and challenge myself to have “military diet” days.

 With this blog as I continue to offer up a challenge to readers, my challenge to you is to realize the time is NOW.  The time is now to eat healthier, go back to school, follow your dreams, make a difference in the lives of others, and enjoy life to the fullest!  Today is a gift that is why we call it the 

present :)

Let your journey start now..... (a year in review)

As I sit and ponder the holiday coming and going and a New Year beginning; I think about what has transpired in 2012.  In this blog I share these highlights and encourage you to begin a new day with a new outlook..... a new journey.... a new beginning. 

Many things happened in 2012 that are blog worthy.  Some of my one word important events are as follows:

Baptism

Graduation

College

Empower

Disney

In July of 2012 I got baptized by pastors Chris Vanbuskirk and Matt Kysor.  This was a very important event in my life.  My walk with God began many years ago but became more personal in 2009 when I nearly experienced a nervous breakdown.  During that time in my life I made the commitment to begin a more personal walk with God.  He alone was able to pull me from the darkness of fear, anxiety and near destruction..... to freedom.  Once I made that commitment, I immediately began watching changes in my life take place right in front of me.  Although I am not perfect, I am forgiven.  The peace that God can give is unlike anything else I have experienced.

Also in the middle of 2012 my daughter graduated from high school.  Sometimes it seems like yesterday that I brought this 8lb 5oz girl home.  A strong independent young woman emerged from that 8lb 5oz bundle.  Lexie graduated 6th out of 222 students.  Her senior year in general was at best exhausting.  She applied to approximately twelve colleges and applied for many scholarships.  I spent a lot of the year proof reading and helping in the scholarship and college application process.

  In the end the important thing was to look for a college with a good chemical engineering program as well as a school that "marched" flutes or piccolos in their marching band.  Through this process we visited colleges and met with the music and engineering departments.  In the end the decision was down to Boise, Purdue and Toledo.  With the process of elimination and being smart about the money offered, the University of Toledo became her new "home" on August 10th 2012.

The thoughts of Lexie going to college were difficult for me.  I was a parent who knew where my child was at all times (mostly anyway) and I couldn't imagine the thought of her being "on her own."  However on that August day I took her 3 1/2 hours away and left her in a dorm.  Lexie didn't come home until Thanksgiving.  I had peace in the fact that she would make good decisions and excel in her studies.  Lexie landed a 3.5 her first quarter with a lot of classes and lots of commitments so I am more confident that she will continue doing well.

Another adventure that started in 2012 was my adventure with Danielle Ratcliff and Empower Life Skills.  I met Danielle in 2011 and we discovered that we had a lot in common,  including our passion for educating others and "coaching' others through life.  Empower Life Skills looks at helping individuals grow personally, professionally, emotionally and/or spiritually.  The goal is to help people meet their full potential in life.  I am excited as to where this journey will take us in 2013 and beyond.

Lastly, we had a great trip to Disney in 2012.  This trip was magically and stress free.  We were able to experience Disney's four parks and also we visited Cocoa Beach.  Lucas experienced his first plane ride.  This was a vacation to remember and even though Lexie didn't get to go, we were able to Skype with her through the week.  Disney makes vacationing magical, even for adults.

Now that I have shared my five highlights of 2012, I encourage you to think about your highlights as well.  One thing I realize is that family is the foundation of our highlights. I challenge you to start making memories today.

Let your journey start now......

"The Struggle" of Change....

Through a lot of transition,  I am trying to embrace change more than I ever have.  My personality is very change oriented but sometimes the idea of "change" isn't always for the better.  Sometimes our hard work is yet a memory when change comes around.  What I have learned the most is that the Serenity Prayer has become my new motto.  "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."  The key words are accept, courage, and wisdom.

Let's talk about these words a little more.  Sometimes we need to accept the fact that our vision is not the vision of others who lead.

Accept is defined as "to receive something, especially with favor."  It is an action verb.  For me, accepting things I cannot change is a matter of letting it go.  Even with a heavy heart it must be done.

Courage is defined as "The state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution; bravery."  This one I struggle with a little more.  When you know that you can make positive changes but have been "put in your place" so to speak, it is often hard to try to continue making such argument.

Finally wisdom is defined as "The ability to discern or judge what is true, right, or lasting; insight. Common sense; good judgment: "It is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things."

Sometimes in the end we have to sit back and watch to cookie crumble and the walls fall.  It is in the struggle that we can find strength.

This reminds me of the story of the butterfly struggle......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nqy00il0wac

One of my favorite quotes is "Be the change you wish to see in the world."  Sometimes being that change comes from making decisions and prayerfully considering the alternatives. Often times this can require us to struggle, leave the familiar and move on.

My challenge for you today is to think about the idea of change and answer these questions......  Are you doing what you can to be the change you wish to see?  Are there things/people that are holding you back from being such change?  What are some steps you can take to open up to new opportunities and new adventures?

How can we grow through our struggle?

The Extra Mile.....

I have had this blog topic on my mind for sometime now.  I saw a quote that said "it is never crowded along the extra mile."  I felt moved by this quote and I felt it to be worthy of a blog.  As I was traveling to a friends house along a road that was not frequently traveled I starting thinking about the poem by Robert Frost.  

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

...Robert Frost

The very last two lines strike me to the soul.  "I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."  My challenge to you is to take the road less traveled, as it is never crowded along that road and that is where you can make a difference. Embrace the challenge along that road.  These challenges often are what makes us stronger, dream bigger and love deeper.

This means to take a risk.  Speak to others who need a simple hello, be a shoulder for another.... travel that road in love and you never know what difference you can make!