Be inspired.....

When we look at the word inspired we can also think of the word as IN-SPIRIT.  As I sit here today I wonder what inspires you.  My inspiration comes from many places.  Quotes, music, movies, people in my life and finding the beauty in simplifying.  Many times we get so busy with our commitments and our life that we forget how important the simple things are.  Watching a budding tree come alive, seeing new signs of Spring everyday are simply gifts. We need to accept these everyday moments as gifts in our life. 

My challenge for you today is to think about what inspires you.  Go out and make your life happen and see the beauty in the simple.  We have a choice to make.  As my dad always said, "you can sit around and grow old with a blanket on your lap or you can live your life."  Living doesn't have to always be the big things. In can be the little things.  Yesterday while sitting on the balcony of "granny's hotel" I watch a squirrel try to get in to the bird feeder.  Watching him climb up the pole and jumping over to the feeder made me laugh.  I also saw cardinals and blue birds, white oak trees coming alive and felt the sun and wind on my face.  This is inspiring. 

Writing blogs, reading, simply "being" can be inspiring. 

Over the last year my mom has been a huge source of inspiration for me.  God has given her a gift of being a caregiver.  She provides a source of strength and looks to God for answers.  She says we need to wake up and say "this is the day the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it."  Some days for me that isn't always so easy to do.  Then I think, if she can do it, I can do it!

The little things.... DO make a difference.....

This week is RAK week.  What does that mean?  It is Random Acts of Kindness week.  My challenge to you today is to practice random acts of kindness everyday, not just one week or one day of the year.

I started this blog based on the idea of making a difference in the lives of others.  I shared "The Starfish" theory which is my life motto.  So this week I felt compelled to post about this again as a reminder that "the little things..... DO make a difference." 

Earlier this year I became a Ractivist (aka: a random act of kindness activist).  Being a Ractivist is eye opening and a blessing.  It is all about paying attention and being present in the moment.  It is seeing life through a different perspective.  When we think about making a difference on an ongoing basis it doesn't take long to make it part of our life mission statement and becomes minimal effort.   Even a simple smile or a hello is a random act of kindness.   Are you paying attention and making a difference?  We never know who needed that smile.  It takes doing the little things.  Those little things add up to the big things.  "A journey is started with one single step."  Every step forward in making a difference is a step in the right direction.

Think about a random act of kindness that has meant something to you.  Was it words of encouragement during a time of need, was it someone baking you a cake or was  it someone providing a helping hand in your time of need?  Often times the little things that we do for others are the BIG things for them.  

Bob Kerrey once said "Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change."  What a powerful statement!

Here are some ideas to get you started.  More ideas and information can be found on the random acts of kindness website.

1.  Go ahead and donate the dollar.  When we see a campaign for heart disease, cancer awareness etc. Donating one dollar can make a difference when many people donate.

2.  Give someone a positive comment on a blog or social media site.  If you think someone looks nice in their photo, tell them.

3.  Thank you notes matter.  A hand written thank you note has a BIG impact.  Take five minutes right now and write someone a note.

4.  Donate the gift of your time.  Many times if we would commit to one hour a month we can effect change and make a difference.  I was volunteering for our local Hope Clinic (free medical clinic) and during an orientation they were dividing the volunteers up in to areas where they thought their talent could be utilized.  One lady said "I am good at hugging people."  Now that is a gift.  "No act is too small."  

5.  Pay for a stranger’s cup of coffee.  Not only will it make a difference in their day, it will make a difference in yours.

6.  Place sticky notes with positive affirmations on grocery store shelves, public mirrors or on car windows.  

7.  Eat a healthy snack.  This can make a difference for you.  

8.  Surprise someone and make dinner for them.  I know this can be a big help to someone who is recovering from an illness or after the loss of a loved one.

9.  Leave a coupon behind at the store.  If you see an item that you do not want to buy, leave the coupon and let someone else use it.

10.  Clear an elderly neighbors sidewalk, rake their leaves or mow their lawn.  Sometimes we take for granted what doesn't take much effort for us.  To that elderly neighbor it could make a huge impact in their life.

One of my favorite quotes is "No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care."  Take time to care today.  Listen to someone and I am sure you will learn along the way.

I encourage you to make a difference no matter how small.   One of my favorite songs is "Care" by Kid Rock. If you have never heard it, listen to it.  Make a point to listen to someone's story but most importantly.....CARE.

My "P" words.....

When 2013 came to a close, I was preparing myself for a new year.  I was ready for 2013 to go.  It was the hardest year of my life and I needed a fresh perspective on life's purpose and present moment living. 

What I learned in 2013 was that we are not promised life.  It is only a gift and we need to remember to live in the present moment.  My sister told me something that stuck with me.  She said that "everything is temporary."  In 100 years someone else will be living in your house, someone else will be working at your job and you will only be a memory. 

I started 2013 with one word for the new year and it was TRUST.  It was unbelievable how much I would need that word.  This year I decided on P words.  Those words are Pray, Persevere, Plan, Prioritize and most importantly find Peace.

PRAY-  I decided that I need more of a prayerful life to reach God.  Praying was more of a routine, a "now a lay me down to sleep" or "God is good, God is great" kind of prayer.  I needed to get more personal with prayer and to meditate more on what I was saying and to listen to what I was hearing.  In my nights of desperation instead of letting my thoughts of 2013 consume me; I started to continually say "Let Go and Let God."  This would be my mantra over and over until I fell asleep. 

PERSEVERE in the PRESENT-  If someone would have told me that I was going to endure what I did in 2013 I would have said "I cannot survive it."  But one thing is for sure, time goes on.  It goes on whether we are miserable or we are happy.  We make the choice.  It is not the events in our lives that make a difference, it is how we respond to those events.  I decided that I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and find a way to persevere.  It is not easy and some days I just want to stay in bed.  However I have a son, a daughter, a husband, a mother, a sister, a brother, nieces, nephews and amazing friends that I want and need to find joy in.

PLAN-  A lot of my life is spontaneous, unplanned and unprepared.   I find if I start planning ahead I can get control of my life in ways that will make me happier.  By working towards finding joy I need to plan.  I need to plan clothing for the next day, lunch, dinner and the flow of the day.  This starts things out in a less stressful way and I am making strides in my planning.  I admit that I work under pressure a lot.  Sometimes with my job I cannot plan because I am always reacting.  However if I can find areas in my life that I can plan, the other parts of my life will not seem as difficult and overwhelming.

PRIORITIZE-  I am a yes person and a people pleaser.  I don't want to let people down and I think I can tackle any project or problem.  After the words YES come out of my mouth I start realizing that I should have thought about saying yes before saying it.  One thing I am remembering is that "when you say no to something you are saying yes to something more important."  In 2013 my job nor my commitments to my job were much of a priority.  I started realizing that unconditional love, kindness, friends and taking care of family is important.  I decided that I need to prioritize people in my life.  I have so many friends and family members that I want to spend more time with.  I want them to be my priority.  I have realized that Lucas has been relying mostly on his dad to get his needs met.  I am now prioritizing time with him.  We play together.  Play is important.  "If you are enjoying time wasted, it is not wasted time."

PEACE-  In order to have peace in my life I need to work on the other P words above.  I am working on finding peace and fighting my fears.  Fear is not of God and peace is something that God desires for us.  I am a worrier and a fearful person.  I do worst case situations in my head.  I am working on surrendering to fear.  If something happens, there is nothing I can do about it.  I can't try to continue controlling my loved ones lives because of my fears.  Through 2014 I am going to surrender my fears and let go of trying to control the uncontrollable. 

My challenge for you today is to think about what your five "new year" words would  be?  Somewhat of a mission statement for 2014.  I challenge you to write them down and work on them.  I challenge you to live in the present moment.

Present moment living is all we have.  This is where we can find joy.  I am going to work on this, will you?

Tradition and Memories Matter.....

Today I start my blog off with your challenge.  I challenge you to take every day as a gift and nothing more.  I challenge you to find the importance of tradition.  I will admit that I have approached the holiday season with blah and sadness.  I have felt dread, fear, loneliness and anger.  I saw others being festive and cheerful and I wanted to shake them and sleep through the holidays.   For someone who usually finds so much joy in the every day and in the holiday season, the excitement and joy just did not exist.

Loss and grief can do something to someone that I never thought possible.  You can lose your spirit, your will to better your life and you can lose the joy of life. 

On Thanksgiving Day evening after we had our dinner at my sister's house, we came back to mom and dad's house and I said, "What are we doing?  Dad would want this house to be alive.  He would want traditions to continue and he would want family together."  Our decision to close the house up the month of December turned in to more of, we have to carry on his tradition and make him proud. 

PROUD. 

One of the most important words that I wanted my dad to be of me from the time I was a little girl. 

Not long after that Thanksgiving evening a friend sent me a special saying that I couldn't forget.  The saying said:

"Christmas is a time of joy

But now without you Dad,

Memories surround us

And it's easy to be sad.

But knowing you'll be watching,

With a Father's gentle pride,

We'll celebrate the happiness

Those memories provide.

Your love is here to guide us

In everything we do,

I give thanks at Christmastime

In memory of you."

With this message from a friend and with talking to my brother and sister on my dad’s birthday we decided to continue our Christmas Eve celebration at mom and dad's for our family.  This year we counted at least 65 attendees.  Along with 16 kids and Santa!  We continued to make memories to make my daddy proud of a tradition he re-kindled.

Was it hard?  YES.  Do I think his spirit was with us? YES.  Am I glad that we made new memories and started new traditions? YES.

Finding joy in moments had meaning for me this year.  The pain was unbearable at times, but I smiled through my tears and remembered "my Santa/my daddy." I treasure those memories. 

I challenge you to continue traditions, start new ones and treasure every memory.  We are given a gift of being children, parents, siblings and friends.  Only for a brief time is this our role.  The only thing that stays the same is that everything changes. 

The Wisdom of Wayne.....

One of my favorite authors and inspirational people who I look up to is Dr. Wayne Dyer. Dr. Dyer has been sharing inspirational message and positive thoughts for many years. He is deeply inspiring and brings power to the idea of “life is a gift” and we must “stay in the present.” Lately a life learning lesson for me is that living in the present is the only place where I can find my joy.

Some of Dr. Wayne Dyer’s quotes that I love are as follows:

• Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
• When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
• If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
• Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.
• It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there's nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.
• Begin to see yourself as a soul with a body rather than a body with a soul.
• It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.
• Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life.
• Conflict cannot survive without your participation.
• Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.
• Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others.
• Our intention creates our reality.
• Deficiency motivation doesn't work. It will lead to a life-long pursuit of try to fix me. Learn to appreciate what you have and where and who you are.
• Everything you are against weakens you. Everything you are for empowers you.

Dr. Dyer focuses a lot about being true to you, and not about judging others. Sometimes we look at people through our own lens and think that we are RIGHT because that is what we know, What if we take a step back and put ourselves in someone else’s shoes? What if we drop our judgment and try to understand others? What if we care enough to hear someone’s story?

I challenge you today to think about something or someone that you find yourself judging. Take time to think about life through this/their lenses of life. Take this to the next level and if it is someone find out their story. As Dr. Dyer quotes “Real magic comes from an absence of judging others." Let's work on making the world a better place!

Tune in to your gifts.....

What is your gift?  What are the things in your life that bring passion and joy?  I used to feel conflicted about this but as I continue to think about my own gift I know now exactly where I land.  My gift is the gift of "helps" or service.  This is part of my personal mission statement.  The mission of "making a difference," offering random acts of kindness to others, and being the hands and feet of Jesus. 

I find joy in helping others.  Just like the whole concept of my blog, "The Starfish."  We can't make everything better but we can do our part.  We can try.  We can do small things with great love.  We can start with one gesture, one person, one family, one community.  This is what can create change. 

Maybe your gift has nothing to do with service or helping others.  We are all unique and have unique gifts.  We need to embrace our differences and challenge ourselves to explore and discover what brings us joy. 

The difference between joy and happiness.....

Joy comes from the inner-self of a person, and is connecting with the source of life within you. It is caused by something really exceptional and satisfying. The source of joy is something or someone greatly appreciated or valued, and it is not only about oneself, but also about the contentment of those people whom you value the most.

 

Happiness is an emotion experienced when in a state of well-being. The state of well-being is emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.  Happiness is simply the state of being happy.

Today I challenge you to tune in to your gift and find your TRUE JOY. 

1.  What are the things that you are passionate about?  Take a sheet of paper and put on the top I am passionate about......................  and just write.  See what you come up with. 

2.  What are the things that bring you joy?

3.  What are you good at?

Most people have a primary "spiritual gift."  This gift helps you define your purpose.  Discovery is the key.  I encourage you to take the steps to discovery and live your gift to the fullest.  It is all about the journey of discovery.  So tune in and discover......

Joy is a choice.....

Today I have been thinking a lot about the sunrise and what it represents.  Over the past few months I have been waiting for “joy to come.”  Like the song says, “joy comes in the morning.”  However today as I sat and watched the sunrise at 7:27am I thought about it and decided that joy is a choice.  It is not something that we wait for but something we choose in that moment.

I admit that I haven’t seen much joy in my own world lately.  But why haven’t I?  It is simply because I am waiting for joy to come and not choosing joy in the moment.  I can honestly say this will not be easy to do, but what is the alternative to joy?  The alternative or opposite of joy is “sadness, sorrow, unhappiness or woe.”  I have to ask myself how that has been working out for me. 

Psalm 30:5 tells us that “weeping may endure for a night, but Joy Comes in the Morning.”  I challenge you today to find YOUR JOY. 

For me I have to start with moments.  I know that helping and educating others is my passion and my joy.   Here are some other things that bring me joy in the moment. 

1.   Hearing my children laugh
2.   Making a difference in the lives of others
3.   Random Acts of Kindness
4.   Educating others on issues of social injustice
5.   Seeing my mom smile
6.   My husband kissing me goodbye every morning
7.   Quotes of encouragement
8.   Centerpoint church
9    New adventures (big or small)
10.  Sunflowers and quarters

What are ten things that bring you joy?

What the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.   Let’s work together and find our joy.  Why wait?  It is a choice and we can make the choice to be happy.  As I can attest, the alternative doesn’t work out so well.

There is a season for everything.  Even when we have a storm, we can find joy in moments and dance in the rain!